Magazines and chocolate
Maintaining adult friendships is work. You have to really put some effort into it to keep people you want around. And of course every relationship fluctuates, but to really keep a close connection with something takes time and patience and understanding.
I have had a much easier time making friends here in Montana then I ever did in New York or Los Angeles, but it makes me really savor the few friendships I did make and now need to keep up with even though we are long distance. My best friend and I talk everyday via text and/or social media or any other outlet we need. Our relationship feels effortless and when we meet back up it’s like we were never apart. I feel truly lucky for this. I have many other friends that take a lot of work on both our parts.
I think of a ton of people I’d like to hang out with on any given day, but shy away from texting or calling to see what they’re doing. Or when friends offer to help me out with something, I feel bad utilizing their kind nature and feel more like a bother. I always try and remember that when they reach out to me to just hang, I super appreciate it and always have fun, and when I offer my help or assistance, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart and would go to any lengths to help. So, this week when I was stuck in the hospital, I did reach out to my friends, and I did ask for help. I asked for magazines and chocolates, I asked for their attention to talk to me for a bit, I asked for them to cheer me up and they all delivered. It really lifted my spirits and made such a difference. And I realized how difficult it would have been without them.
So, for all the effort it may take, it’s so worth it. It only took me 27 years to realize this and years of failed girl friendships and heartbreak and loneliness, but I’m happy I’m figuring it out as a young mother and don’t feel I have to go it alone.