Today I received this letter from probably my best friend in the entire world. He really has a way with words. I hope he writes a book someday. He’ll have us all rolling (with laughter hopefully, not rolling joints out of sadness, he is capable of that too I’m sure)
Anyways, what do I miss so much about Illinois he asks? Yes there may be many many flaws with that state, but that is where I feel home. I guess my dad put it best once, he said,
“You only begin to have roots when a loved one is buried in the Earth’s dirt.”
Kinda morbid, I know, but it always stayed with me. And that’s saying something especially if I listened to my dad, which I never do. (long story)
I grew up with a really big family, I’m talking both my parents came from families of 10. So, when I was born I already had 20 people who had my back, not including married family members, cousins, grandparents, etc, etc. That’s something special. My parent’s chose to stay where family was and not stake it out on their own. I grew up knowing I could ask anyone in my family for anything. Even the shirt off their back. They would hand it to me no questions asked. Every one of them.
I love the seasons, I love the lakes, I love the fields, I love the clean air, I love everything.
I know that no where is perfect, but to me, being with family in a place that you love is just about as close that you can get.
My friend asks me where I’ll be in 5-10 years, he says fat, of course, sorry hon it ain’t in my genes! I don’t know where I’ll be, I have no idea.
I just know that I won’t be in Los Angeles forever, or New York (it was a fun stint though!) I’ll be somewhere. I know that much.
Right now though, he’s right, this severe homesick disability that I have, has pushed out some bright colors in me. I feel the need to do something, anything and if I can make it feel even a bit like I’m home I’m a little happier.
I know it’s not best to live your life not doing exactly what you want, but who really has that option? I’ve got a good guy, good job, great apartment, baby animals, so I can’t just up and go can I?
I know I’m meant to be here for a little while.
I’m sure the reason I’m here will appear when I’m ready to see it.